I'm shit at helping myself, but I'll help you.

I know how you feel, I’m experiencing the same thing. Just ask her to come to you when she feels like cutting to distract herself, but not to mention that she is triggered or whatever, since it’s triggering you. Tell  her to talk to you about her problems that cause the cutting and you’ll try to help, but not cutting directly, I guess :/ 

-Dylan

Don’t leave her, she needs someone most at this point. But don’t be too sympathetic. I’m struggling with a similar problem with a couple of my friends. One is easier than the other, because one wants to recover. But the other expects others to help her and “fix” her without her having to try at all, and I become impatient. Just help your friend by giving her pointers on how you did it, because the best advice is coming from someone who got through it. And remind her that you are always there to talk when she wants to relapse, etc, etc.

-Dylan 

You say “Fuck this” and do things that make you happy because now is the time that you can do things. Worrying about a guy is a waste of time and you can waste time when you’re dead yes. 

-Dylan

But why do you think you’re worthless? You can’t be that old, and you have your whole life ahead of you to figure out why you’re here and what your worth is. Up to this point, you may not know and you may have gone through struggles, but life isn’t and you aren’t immutable. You can change and life with change with you and you can learn to like yourself and find worth in yourself. And trust me, even if you don’t see yourself as having any worth, there are tons of people who do, including me. Regardless of what you believe, someone out there loves you and wants you to be here. 

-Steph

To be honest, it doesn’t sound like he seemed disgusted or like…his view of you has changed or anything, so I don’t think he is the type to break up with someone over something like that. Just talk to him about it and be open because that’s the only way you’ll ever be sure that he can accept you for even your hugest of flaws. Talking to him would probably lead to a stronger relationship since there’s no secrets and if he doesn’t break up with you, you’ll know you can trust him a lot.

If he does end up breaking up with you, don’t even think twice about it. Someone who is going to judge you that harshly for a symptom for a disorder that causes a person to need as much support as they can get is not someone you want in your life, trust me. Anyone who belittles your problems or who thinks that a person who copes in such a way as someone they don’t want in their life, is someone you don’t want in yours.

-Dylan.

I actually had a lot of trouble getting my scars to fade, but keep lotion on them because dry skin doesn’t heal very quickly or well. You could also try rubbing cocoa butter or vitamin E gel on them. Those are just a few tips I’ve gotten when talking to other people about getting my scars to fade. I’ve never tried them though so I’m not sure how well they work.

-Steph

You’re not stupid for feeling this way. I relapsed after over 100 days of not cutting, and I wanted so badly just to give up. But relapse is a part of recovery, and just remind yourself that you were strong before and you STILL are strong. Keep telling yourself that you want to recover and that cutting isn’t worth it. Because its not; it just makes things worse and wastes time that you could be using to solve the situation that you’re in.

Since you went 2 months before, one day without it won’t seem like much. But it is, so remember to feel proud of yourself with each day, even after the relapse. And if you do relapse again, don’t feel bad. Just keep trying. Also, if you ever feel like cutting and want to distract yourself you can always talk to one of us instead. 

-Dylan

I haven’t experienced anything close to the pain that you are feeling, so forgive me if this doesn’t help at all. But just remind yourself that they wouldn’t want you to be upset, and they would want you to keep living your life and be happy and be successful and live the life that they didn’t think they could have. I know it’s really hard not having them here, but they’re in a place, whether it just be without feeling or in heaven, where they don’t have to feel their pain anymore. 

Also, try to find out what the thoughts are that are causing your chest to become heavy and challenge them. You will be okay, I promise. I’m really sorry for your losses and I’ll always be here if you need to talk. 

-Dylan